Yes, I’ve written over this one before. But I’m sitting on my couch this afternoon, sobbing as I listen to it, and I decided to give you another. What can I say; some songs do this to me.
There is something unspeakably powerful about the sensation of being understood. Of being supported. Of knowing that someone “has your back”. To know that you’re not alone as you face the challenges of life. Everyday life can be hard enough to face… to know you have someone to walk side by side with, to know that you’ve got a partner to get through it all, to help pull you up when you struggle, to give you that push when you hesitate, to encourage you when you need it… it’s amazing. It’s… life-changing. It’s how we were made. We weren’t made to go through life alone. We were crafted to need a partner, to need encouragement, a helpmeet.
I’ve had one of the hardest years of my entire life. When John promised for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, I don’t think either of us were counting on this year. I’ve spent almost 2 months now in crippling pain, and that’s just the most recent chapter, and in a few short days I’m having a hysterectomy, bringing another 2 long months where, though I am recovering, I am largely limited in what I can do. John has had to pick up much of the burden of taking care of our home and going with me to doctor’s appointments while we try to figure out how to take care of me.
In the midst of this, He has been patient, loving, tender, encouraging, faithful, caring, thoughtful and thorough. He’s inventive and attentive. He finds articles that manage to speak to exactly where I am and how I feel, and that tells me that he gets me, he understands me on the deepest level of who I am.
John and I met when he was a high school senior and I was a freshman in college. I knew within a month of our first date that I loved this man. I knew within 5 months of meeting him that I wanted to spend my forevers with him. We were married at 20, even though some of our friends objected that we were too young. I knew that there was nothing I wanted to see that I didn’t want him beside me… I didn’t want to come home and tell him about it; I wanted him there, beside me, sharing it with me. I wanted this man as a partner in life. We made mistakes in those first years of our marriage, but who doesn’t?
But when we get to moments like this past year, moments like last night, when he told me he loved me by playing “Something” as the last song in his session of Beatles Rockband, I know that this marriage was the best decision I’ve ever made. Marrying John is one of the single best things I have ever done, and I cannot, I literally have no idea how I would do this without him.
One of the most beautiful things in the ugliness of this crisis is the way John believes in me. There’s nothing more beautiful. I love you, John, and I’d marry you a million times again.
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Ah shucks!